3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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