If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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