It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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