bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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