My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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