im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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