Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This toilet bowl is my home.
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