Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
