i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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