maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
