someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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