508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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