toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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