so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
