i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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