He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He told me they were just razor bumps!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
