Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome

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(804): View more from Virginia

Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

But you'll make an exception

(908): View more from New Jersey

probably not

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.

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(513): View more from Ohio

You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I know. I miss henry.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.

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