So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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