Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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