I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
