is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
