your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
