You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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