You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
