so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
