White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
