Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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