im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
