We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
