My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
