Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
