"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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