Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
