Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
