Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
