I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
