why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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