So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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