She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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