tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
