I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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