You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize