do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
