Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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