Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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