First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
