It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
