I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
