Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
