ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
