All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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