we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
