you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
