He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
