I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
