singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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