I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize